The Lost Art Of Helping Your Friends Get Laid

A lot of articles at ROK chronicle the tactics employed by men to convince women to play hide the salami with them, often internationally. Back in the 80s, many of us guys employed a game enhancer that is all but disappearing from the scene. We didn’t have a name for it because without the internet or social media, there weren’t a lot of ways to spread hashtags. Today, I call it “proxy sex,” or more accurately “proxy game,” which is when a guy aids another dude in getting laid.

I don’t mean physically helping as in holding a woman down, or coaching a dude to raise his butt higher. Proxy sex is when a guy puts in a good word or two for another dude which closes or enhances the deal. I did this for a colleague’s husband once.

Lisa was a trim, athletic attractive brunette. One day, she was bitching about her husband, Jeff. She was going on how distant he was. I explained, “Look, Lisa. Men are easy. Just give him some real gymnastic sex and make sure he medals.”

So Lisa did just that. She gave Jeff Olympic level sex. When I saw her again, she was real pissed.

“I did what you said, and a lot of good it did!”

Always going for gold, I added, “Sometimes, it takes more than just once.”

I suspected it wouldn’t matter how many times or the manner in which Lisa boffed Jeff, but that didn’t stop me from hooking up a fellow dude bro. Lisa and Jeff eventually divorced, but not before a guy I barely knew got screwed on the uneven bars, and as such, I got laid by proxy.

When a guy helps another guy get ass, it’s as if he’s getting ass too. I’ve done this ...

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